Me and my jobsite partner Keith (also affectionately known as Beef, Beef Wellington, and Dr. Gnome) receive a call telling us to come into work to clean up a decomp (or the remnants of a belatedly found dead body, in layman’s terms). We drive to the shop, get our supplies, hop in the work truck, and head off to the jobsite.

As far as the grossness of jobs go, decomps are not the worst. They can be pretty gross at times, but they’re usually in a contained area, and usually most of the bodily fluids collect onto a piece of furniture, meaning that once the furniture is removed, a large portion of the gore and grossness we have to remove are already gone. They’re gross jobs, but not the worst (The worst jobs, fyi, are sewage jobs). As we drove to this job, we didn’t expect anything that awful or out of the ordinary.

When we arrive at the apartment complex, we’re greeted by the manager, a young guy, probably not much older than 25. You could tell he was excited to meet a couple of guys who have seen some real crazy stuff. (Note: This is the correct reaction to have. We are totally cool, and we are super-tuff badasses for doing and seeing what most people would be to afraid to) ANYWAY, the guy tells us the deal.

Apparently, the deceased cleared out his apartment over the course of the last week. He moved everything out of his apartment except for a red sofa, and had been living in his apartment without anything but that couch for days. The night before we arrived, the tenants who lived below him called the super and said that the now deceased’s bathtub had been running for over 24 hours. When someone went to check on them they found him, dead on his couch, in a puddle of his own fluids.

Weird, right? I know, that’s what I said, too! Keith and I suited up and went into the room to inspect it.





We enter the room, and it stinks of urine, feces, and general dead people stench (Thank god for protective masks). The apartment is completely barren except for a few items, which is very out of the ordinary (“Real Horror Movie Moment,” #1). I’ve never been on a decomp job that wasn’t in a lived-in home. It was just a creepy barren apartment with one sofa, covered in mystery goop. The goop had also leaked onto the floor.

Why am I calling this stuff goop? Because I can’t identify it. That’s, “Real Horror Movie Moment,” #2. Let’s take a closer look at this stuff.




First of all, whaaaaat is on this couch. That’s not blood, I don’t think. Feces? Definitely urine. Maybe some blood?




Then there’s this behind the couch. Is that general decomposing body leakage? Feces? Vomit!? I DON’T KNOW!!Here’s a closer look at the stuff on the floor. Spit? Semen? And Seriously, what are those burnt chunks!?!?





Here’s an even closer look. What were the mysterious burnt chunks? Dried feces? Was he burning things?



So there’s, “Real Horror Movie Moment,” #2. You’d think #2 would be enough to make this a nightmare-come-reality, but no folks, there’s more. Take a look over top of the couch and what do you find?



That’s right, “Real Horror Movie Moment,” #3, half newspapered windows applied with real anal retentive care. One thing layer of newspaper applied to the windows out of small, torn sheets. This guy didn’t just slap the sports page up, this was a detail oriented exercise that clearly took a few minutes.

On it’s own, this is not creepy. In a room with a COUCH COVERED IN MYSTERY FLUIDS – it’s suuuuuper creepy. Why man? Why did you newspaper your windows? What type of stuff was going on here?

One-hundred and eighty degrees from the windows was the kitchen counter. On top of the counter was the only thing in the house other than the couch. “Real Horror Movie Moment,” #4, the deceased’s fish!



Sure a fish in a bowl all alone isn’t scary. In fact, it’s kind of sad. Poor guy, lonely, only his fish for companionship. The moment of sadness is quickly washed away by a wave of horror when we look closer into Bubbles’ fishbowl.



AAAH , A SEA OF BLOODWORMS! That means this fish has been feeding for days on the worms that had been feeding on the decomposing body of the fish’s owner. A pet eating it’s owner’s corpse by proxy!?!? Will this house of horrors never end!?!

Well, it seems like it did end after that fish. Keith and I finished sealing off the couch and putting it in the trailer to take it to a proper disposal facility. We had cleaned and sanitized the floor and walls, and anything bio-hazardous had been cleaned or removed. It the job was just about finished, so I walked through the whole apartment to double check and see If everything had been cleaned up and taken carer of. That’s when I opened the closet door to find “Real Horror Movie Moment,” #5….



AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, CREEPY, RITUALSTIC, CHILDLIKE BUNNY MASK WITH TINY EYEHOLES!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? Am I going to be followed around by some kind of demonic spirit? Was this guy summoning otherworldly spirits? Is this guy practicing some kind of Northeast US Santeria? It’s likely that none of these things are the case, but when you add up all the bizarre elements on this job, this mask really set me over the edge in terms of heebing my jeebies. The house was clean, I was creeped out beyond belief, and it was time for us to get the hell out of that apartment of terror.

So now you have an idea of what I see and go through on these jobs. You never know what you’re in for until you get out there. If you have any questions or comments on this story, then comment! And hey, feel free to repost, just give a link back to our blog! Until My next journal entry, try not to have nightmares about what could have possibly been going on inside that apartment.

-STEVE, Bio-Clean Technician